


The End of the World (As We Know It)

by iiezaya



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: F/M, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Shizaya - Freeform, almost everything is the same but Celty is a human and she’s mute so uh, also izaya and shizuo never met in high school, based on the movie life as we know it, but i will die with this ship, durarara is sorta coming back, slight AU
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 16:01:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21915493
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iiezaya/pseuds/iiezaya
Summary: If there’s something Izaya's learned from life, it's ‘expect the unexpected’. This, however, is a situation so impossible to be happening right now it makes him want to puke.
Relationships: Heiwajima Shizuo & Celty Sturluson, Heiwajima Shizuo & Orihara Izaya, Heiwajima Shizuo/Orihara Izaya, Kishitani Shinra & Orihara Izaya, Kishitani Shinra/Celty Sturluson
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	The End of the World (As We Know It)

**Author's Note:**

> Greetings! It’s past 2 am but I have finally felt like writing recently, so hopefully there isn’t more than a full year in between this update and the next ;D School has been psychotic lately, as I will be graduating high school soon.
> 
> This is one of many ideas I’ve had in mind for ages! It’s based on one of my favorite movies, “Life As We Know It”. It will pretty much be told exclusively from Izaya’s point-of-view. Enjoy!~

“But, Orihara-kun!”

“No, Shinra, I will absolutely not go on a blind date arranged by you!” 

“Izaya, come on, you can't be alone for the rest of your life.” Shinra said with a pout.

“I can and I will. I only intend to watch my dear humans from the sidelines and intervene merely at the right times. I have no need to commit to one human alone, nor will it be necessary for me to have an heir once I have entered Valhalla.”

Izaya stood up from the bespectacled man’s couch. 

“Is there any real “important reason” you forced me to be here besides to try to get me to throw my life away to some cheap whore?”

“Orihara-kun, I would never set you up with someone like that, I promise!” 

Celty stepped forward, having heard enough bantering from the two. 

**[If you go on this date, just one, then I will do your next courier job for free. Plus, the date we have set up for you is a good friend of mine.]**

“Oh, Celty. Do you really think that I’m some kind of cheapskate you can just bribe?” Celty shrugged.

Izaya gave a frown at her response and sighed exasperatedly. 

“Fine. One date, that's it, and nothing more.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Izaya sat at a table of a “fancy” café that mostly only had coffee, sickly sweet champagne, and amateur food at best. Unfortunately, Shinra had been the one to pick the location rather than himself, otherwise he would be somewhere much nicer, and certainly more private. Izaya was the one paying for some random girl’s dinner, after all. He figured that if the date went south, he could always leave and break her heart or something. He grinned at that thought.

With a glance at the clock across the room, Izaya’s brows furrowed angrily. His date was already thirty minutes late! 

The winter air blew in briskly as the door opened for another customer, so he pulled his furred hood slightly over his ears and face. He hadn't bothered to dress too nicely for the date, as he knew it would only be a one-time thing.

Now, he wasn't an impatient person, but his foot began to tap the ground as he waited for whatever lady had the audacity to show up this tardy. While his eyes remained fixed on the door, watching for the woman responsible for his long wait, Izaya didn't pay mind to the blonde man standing next to his chair, looking at him with a tilted head. The man read some scrawled pen writing on his palm and then looked up and then back down, and repeated this process at least six times. Finally, he sighed and grabbed Izaya’s chilly hand in his own and bowed, giving it a small kiss. 

“Hi, I'm Heiwajima Shizuo.” He introduced with a polite smile, but Izaya was too busy being horrified. Had he just-? Who was this guy anyway? 

“Sorry I’m late, I got caught u-”

“Who are you?” Izaya asked, not even half-listening to the stranger’s excuses.

“I- Your date, I'm pretty sure. You know Shinra?” He looked back down at his hand, seeming unsure of his own writing.

“Yeah, I do. _ You're _ the date he set up?” Izaya asked, irritated, pushing his hood off.

“And if you didn't notice, protozoan, I'm a-”

“You're a guy?” The blonde, Shizuo, he now knew, asked.

In that moment, Izaya was entirely prepared to slam his head in a car door. 

“Look, I, uh, didn't know that- that you were uh…” Shizuo stammered.

“Me neither, pal.” Izaya said in an annoyed tone as he walked towards the door.

“Where are you going? Weren't we supposed to have dinner?” Shizuo asked.

“Let's not and say we did. What the hell kind of romantic move was that anyway? Kissing a girl’s hand?” Izaya laughed and waved over his shoulder, completely fed up with the encounter.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Uwah!~ You didn’t even stay to get to know the guy?”

“Last time I️ checked, Shinra, I’m not gay.” Izaya replied through his cell phone. If he were to roll his eyes any further, they would disappear inside his head. 

“Fine, but I️ expect you to go on another one. I’ll pick a girl this time!” Shinra said.

“No. I️ don’t need to date anyone. Never have, and never will. Just forget about it, Shinra.” Came the curt reply. 

Shinra sighed into the receiver of the phone. “Okay. You’re still coming to Evelyn-chan’s birthday, right?” 

“Yes, of course, of course.” Izaya sighed. He never much liked little children, but Shinra and Celty’s daughter Evelyn had made a special place deep in his heart that had previously only been reserved for his kid sisters. Evelyn was turning one year old this year, and he knew that he’d never dare miss her birthday, despite the fact that, unfortunately, Celty’s good pal Shizuo would likely also be attending. Since their date, it became obvious that Izaya would never be able to rid himself of Shizuo, since they shared a common friend. Shinra was Izaya’s only friend, to be exact. 

_Maybe this birthday party will be better than Shinra’s last get-together… _ Izaya thought back to the horrific occurrences that took place when Shinra decided that inviting both Shizuo and Izaya— unaware that the other was going— to his house for a party the weekend after their awkward encounter at the café. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ Izaya was never a huge fan of parties, but Shinra’s were always, admittedly, pleasant. They reminded him of the family bonding that he didn’t have— barbecues, family reunions, or simply being together in the backyard. Shinra and Celty lived the white-picket family life perfectly, so much so that it was almost disgusting, and Izaya couldn’t help but feel envious when Shinra would look at Celty with pure adoration in his eyes, or when their daughter’s laughter would light up the room. _

_Although Izaya had chided and made fun of Shinra for being stupid enough to try and set him up on a date (with a man no less!), he was the one that had been feeling stupid all week for not giving it a chance. _ I really am going to die alone, _ it made him think. Luckily the upcoming party would take his mind off of it, because he could totally flirt with any number of Shinra’s friends. _

_He closed his apartment door behind him and made his way to the train station to head to Shinra’s. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ As it turns out, he could totally _ not _ flirt with any number of Shinra’s friends. _

_Izaya spent most of the party watching the others mingle and chat. There were a few unfortunate individuals with whom he had tried to strike up conversation, but almost every single one wrote him off as creepy, or were simply too outlandish to approach. Eventually, Izaya decided to sulk in the corner near the chips and dip. Unfortunately, another lonely soul had sought the guac for refuge: Shizuo. Izaya made an effort to ignore him, but eventually caved into needing to start a conflict with him to pass the time. _

_“Would you stop smacking on those chips so loud? What, were you raised by cavemen?” Izaya asked with a condescending smile. Shizuo glowered at him. _

_“If it’s so damn annoying, why don’t you just leave the room? You had no problem doing so last week.” Shizuo retorted._

_Izaya was actually surprised that Shizuo seemed to be upset by the fact that Shinra’s awful idea of a date had backfired. _

_“Ah~ You’re right, I should have stayed and chatted about the weather recently, and, oh, the fact that I’m not into dudes. Plus, you were the one who was thirty minutes late, Shizu-chan.” _

_Confusion briefly flashed through Shizuo’s scowl. “Shizu-chan? That’s not my name, flea.” He said, his voice dipping lower in warning. _

_Izaya let out a genuine laugh. “Flea? Where’d you think of that one?” _

_“You’re annoying like a flea.” _

_The brunette feigned offense. “Me? Annoying?” He asked, suddenly coming up with a brilliant and devious idea. _

_“I mean, Shizu-chan, if I was actually annoying, I guess I would do something like this,” he said, scooping guacamole onto a spoon. “Right?” He used the spoon like a catapult, flinging the avocado paste directly onto Shizuo’s left sunglass lens. Shizuo’s fists clenched furiously. _

_“Oopsie! Looks like you’ve got a little something right—” He reached up to the blonde’s glasses, grabbing the frame. “—there~” Izaya finished, snatching the glasses with a wink and running out the open back door. As expected, Shizuo followed Izaya out the door with a holler._

_“FLEA!” _

_Izaya laughed, hopping over Shinra’s neighbor’s fence. Unfortunately, he did not anticipate that there would be a large dog laying in wait to tear him to pieces. The large animal jumped up from its napping spot, sprinting towards him. “Oh _ shit _ ,” he muttered, scrambling backwards. Izaya had no fears— that is, aside from dogs. Something about their unpredictable and bestial tendencies frightened him, even at a young age. _

_Shizuo had now also cleared the wooden barrier between Shinra’s backyard and the backyard of the demon quickly approaching. (By “clearing”, that’s to say “completely destroying the frail wooden boards between the two yards”). Before Izaya could move out of the way, Shizuo came barreling into his side, throwing them both into the in-ground pool in the center of the yard. _

_All the commotion had summoned Shinra’s neighbor, Simon, from within his home. Usually Izaya would ignore the command to get out of the pool and clean the place up, but Simon was built like a brick wall— actually, he was built more like the Great Wall of China. _

_Two hours spent shivering and doing yardwork later, Izaya was thoroughly un-thrilled with the way the party had turned out. It had been exciting to torment Shizuo, though. _

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“It’s my daughter’s birthday, so no destroying private property this time, right, Izaya?” Shinra ordered, bringing Izaya out of his thoughts. 

“Wouldn’t dream of it!~” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ The Day Everything Changed _

_ Izaya’s Room _

_ 4:36 am _

** _Bzzzzzrt_ **

** _Bzzzzzrt_ **

** _Bzzzzzrt_ **

Izaya awoke from his current state of dreaming to the loud noise of his phone vibrating on his night stand. He sat up and rubbed his eyes briefly before answering one of his many phones; this one in particular was his personal phone. Not many people had this number, so he figured that it was likely to be Shinra or one of his sisters on the other end. 

“Hello? Orihara speaking.” He answered, speaking the way he did upon answering every phone call.

“Good morning, Orihara-san. I wanted to ask you to come down to the Ikebukuro Police Station; it’s an emergency. There has been… an unfortunate accident...”

_Something they can’t say over the phone? What the hell happened?_

“Sure, sure. I’ll be there within ten minutes.” Izaya answered, already out of bed and getting dressed. He couldn’t help the nervousness beginning to take over his thoughts. For what reason the police would need him, he couldn’t say. Sure, his job as an information broker placed him in some sketchy situations and predicaments regarding the lawfulness of his job, but a screw-up prominent enough to alert the police would’ve had him _ taken care of _ by the Awakusu-Kai long before the police could get him. 

Being lost in his thoughts, Izaya was almost surprised when his hand was on the door of the police station. He stood outside for a moment, trying to quell the anxiety rising in his throat, and walked inside. Instantly, he noticed a head of blonde hair bowed towards the floor as the person sat in a hard, plastic lobby chair. 

“Shizuo?” Izaya called out, knowing plenty well enough the identity of the figure. 

He looked up to meet Izaya’s gaze. Izaya’s breath hitched. Shizuo looked like Izaya had never seen him before: his hair was messy and unkempt, and his eyes were red and watery, contrasted by the sullen black circles surrounding them. He would make a comment on how ugly Shizuo’s face was, but the heavy atmosphere in the room stopped the words before they could leave his mouth.

An officer was approaching him now. 

“Izaya Orihara?” The man asked. 

“Yes.” Izaya replied, dreading the upcoming conversation. 

The officer came closer, and pulled him aside to a dark corner of the room. The sun had not come up yet. 

“Orihara-san, you know a Shinra and Celty Kishitani, yes?” He asked in a low voice. Izaya pretended that there wasn’t an enormous lump in his throat upon hearing his friend’s name spoken. 

“Yes.” He tried to reply nonchalantly, but it ended up sounding like a desperate plea. 

“We found your name in an emergency contact file of Kishitani’s.” The officer said hesitantly. “Shinra and Celty Kishitani were… struck and killed in a car accident two hours ago, Orihara-san…” He finally finished. 

Izaya’s ears were ringing. He felt as though he was watching somebody else have this conversation, and that he was merely an observer. But he wasn’t, and this was real. 

“B-Both of them?” Izaya managed to ask, in a much weaker voice than he’d have hoped. The man nodded. 

“And… what about their daughter? Evelyn-chan?” He asked.

“The child is currently staying with Emilia and Shingen Kishitani, but a more permanent living situation will need to be arranged in the near future.” The officer explained. “I believe the couple has written a will, so the beneficiaries will be informed promptly.” Izaya nodded, swallowing. He turned away to walk out of the station, but spared at glance at Shizuo, who was still in the uncomfortable lobby chair. His glance was fixated on no spot in particular. Izaya sighed and approached the blonde. Shizuo wordlessly stood from his chair, looking into Izaya’s eyes. He felt like Shizuo was glancing directly into his soul, and speaking only melancholy words to his heart. Izaya realized that his own eyes were filling with water, tears threatening to spill at any moment. Against his better judgement, he opened his arms, inviting Shizuo to come into them. The other man took him up on his offer, and buried his head into his shoulder. His strong arms coiled around Izaya’s much smaller, lithe frame. One of Izaya’s hands found the back of Shizuo’s hair, fingers intertwining among the smooth blonde locks. 

After a moment, they both retracted from the embrace. Izaya would never admit it, but he was filled with a cold shudder and immediately missed Shizuo’s warmth. With a final look at Shizuo, Izaya turned to leave. 

“Ah! Orihara-san!” The officer from earlier gently called. “I think you and Heiwajima-san should stay at Shinra and Celty’s residence for the rest of tonight. There is a lawyer who would like to speak with both of you in several hours,” he explained. He held out a set of keys, presumably Shinra’s, out to Izaya. 

Izaya nodded, taking the keys, and Shizuo followed him out the door. They walked in silence to their friends’ house. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Though Shinra and Celty had only been gone a few hours, their house felt like it had been left vacant for years. Each smiling picture on the wall bore into Izaya’s soul, and he couldn’t help but feel like he was fifty feet underwater, sinking. Judging by the way Shizuo looked, he was taking it much harder. For that fact, and that fact alone, Izaya did not say a word when they both reached for the doorknob of the bedroom. He allowed Shizuo to follow him in, like a lost puppy. They both silently climbed into the bed, hoping to sleep for a while until the lawyer arrived. Truthfully, Izaya was hoping that he would wake up from this nightmare. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_ The Day Everything Changed _

_ Shinra and Celty’s Room _

_ 10:48 am _

Sleeping proved to be more difficult than expected for both Shizuo and Izaya. Hours had gone by like years, but, alas, the sound of the doorbell indicated that the lawyer had arrived to speak with them. Izaya got up, quickly combing through his hair, and let the man in. Shizuo soon joined them in the dining room. 

“Good morning, Orihara-san, Heiwajima-san.” The lawyer nodded to each of them as he spoke solemnly. “I figured it would be easier to speak with both of you at once. You see, Shinra and Celty had prepared a will before they passed. They have also, however, named their preferred guardian of their daughter in the unlikely event that they both should die.” He shuffled through some papers. 

“Orihara-san, Shinra named you as Evelyn’s guardian, and, Heiwajima-san, Celty named you as Evelyn’s guardian. Their wish was that the two of you, together, take care of their daughter in an instance like this.”

For the first time in hours, Shizuo spoke. 

“Together?!” They asked in unison, equally appalled.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Let me know what you think so far, and if you wanna see more!! Also feel free to point out mistakes or improvements! I hope to see you all soon!


End file.
